How I Met Your Father
by rnake-me
Summary: A kind-of spin on How I Met Your Mother, featuring a lot of HIMYM characters and a lot of OCs. Following Elle on her quest to meet the love of her life...with a few red-herrings along the way. My first fanfic!
1. Chapter 1

**2038**

"Kids, I don't think I've ever told you the story of how I met your father."

My son rolls his eyes. "Of course you have. You guys-,"

I shush him. "No spoilers. Anyway, I may have told you the short version, but never the full story."

"How long is this going to take?" asked my eldest daughter. "I'm going over Danielle's house in two hours." My youngest daughter, who was sitting on her lap, nodded in agreement.

"Well, it all started in 2013…the day I met Ted."

**2014**

We each had a goal. We were all at this strange bar we had never been to for a different reason.

Jess was there to meet a guy. Any guy. You guys have heard stories about Jess, right? Well, in case you've forgotten, Jess had a love-hate relationship with men. When she wasn't ready to go home with any man she could find that fit her very high standards, she was ready to kill and harvest the organs of any gentleman who crossed her path. She was a good friend, but tough to predict, and hard to be completely yourself with.

Alyssa was there to broaden her horizons. Alyssa and I had met during college, and although I was not a party-girl by any means, compared to her I was a heroin-shooting, shot-taking, crass-talking slut. Since college was over, and summer was beginning, Alyssa promised herself that this year would be different, like she always did. This year would be the year she would make out with a random guy, the year she would stay up all-night having a good time, the year she would stand on the bar and sing like no one was watching. And, kids, she did end up doing all those things that summer. But, more on that later.

Well, then, what was I there for?

I was there to forget.

No, I wasn't there to forget about the past. I was there to forget about the future.

Fresh off the urban Colombia campus, I was scared. Scared to face the world, scared of the choices, scared of the real-life consequences. I had no idea what I even wanted to do with my life. It wasn't that I wasn't interested in anything; I was interested in too much. Would my background in comedic theatre and writing lead me to pursue my long-time dream of writing for SNL? That was a dream that I had had since…forever, but would my major in psychology cause me to go down that route instead? I had also always been interested in filmmaking…

I sighed. _Forget,_ I told myself. _You're here to forget._

Gazing down into my bottomless appletini, I gulped down a huge sip and cringed as it burned its fiery path on the way down my throat.

I don't know what made me look up just then, but I did.

The look that changed everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**2013**

I wasn't a girl to go to bars.

I wasn't a girl that talked to strangers in said bars.

I certainly was not a girl to invite said stranger in said bar over to the booth where my friends and I were sitting.

Maybe it was fate that made me do things. Maybe it was the three (empty) martini glasses on the table that belonged to me.

Either way, kids, if I didn't look up at that exact moment, I never would have met your father.

Not because the cute, dark-haired stranger was your dad. Oh, no no no. How exactly he led me to your father is something to be discussed later.

Cute Bar Boy (also accompanied by his Two Cute Friends), made his way over to the booth.

The sudden realization of what I had just done hit me, sending my heart catapulting into my head, pumping and pumping to the beat of the bass of whatever house-mix they were playing. "Guys," I whispered hastily, motioning with quick, suggestive head movements over to the pack of three guys heading our way, sending Alyssa and Jess into a panic, but for very different reasons.

"Oh, no. No." Alyssa was not in any mood to talk to anyone besides the people she was familiar with.

"Didn't you just tell me you wanted to get out of your comfort-zone? You know, slut it up a little?" I asked. "Live your life!"

"It isn't that simple, Elle!" Alyssa screeched.

"I understand. Really, I do. And I'm going to help you." I answered.

"Do I look ok?" Jess asked. "Do I look like someone you'd talk to if you were a guy? Would you date me? Would you marry me?"

"You look great!" I said. "They're almost here. Just be cool, okay?"

Both Alyssa and Jess nodded unassuredly, and plastered on their best "I am someone you want to get to know" face (Alyssa's was her flawless smile, Jess a pout, pursed lips kind of thing.)

"Hi." Cute Bar Boy introduced himself. "I'm Ted. This is Marshall," he motioned to an adorable-looking tall guy with sandy brown hair, "and this is Barney," motioning to a skeevy-but-hot looking blonde guy with a really great fashion sense. Jess obviously liked what she saw.

Since Jess was too busy ogling the guy in the suit, and Alyssa was scared out of her mind, I decided to speak up. "I'm Elle. That's Jess, and that's Alyssa." Each of the guys branched off- Barney talking with Jess, Marshall with Alyssa, leaving me alone with Ted.

"So, Ted." I said. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much…" he answered sarcastically.

"No," I answered, laughing. "I mean in this bar. Or, in New York."

"Well," he began. "I'm in this bar because it's my favorite place in the whole city, and I don't live very far. And I'm in New York because it's my favorite place in the whole world."

"Surely there's more to living here than it being your favorite place," I asked him further.

"Well, I've always been into architecture. And, well, I know it's stupid, but my big dream is to see one of my buildings on the New York skyline, and nudge my future wife and my future kids and say 'You see that building? I made that.'"

"I don't think that's stupid at all." I answered honestly.

The night continued; the moon slowly sank under the Hudson, accompanied by the music of wonderful conversation, lasting hours and hours, between two people who were in the right place at the right time.

Because, kids, had I not met Ted that night, he wouldn't have met his kid's future mother either.


End file.
